Expectations

One of the things people tend to warn you about before you go overseas, or probably for any major life changes, is that of 'realistic expectations'. It makes sense; if you have totally unrealistic expectations, you're bound to be disappointed and might end up in a spiral of despair and hurt when they aren't met. On my previous trips etc... I've managed to have very few expectations - mostly they were such a big change that I had no idea what to expect so it wasn't a major issue for me. This time, I have lived in Africa before, and know a few people who have lived/are living in Tanzania, so I have much more information than ever before. Also, because we are going long-term this time, there is a bit more at stake in my adjustment. The thing is, I need to balance having realistic expectations with my need to be excited about this next step - when I express excitement, much of the time I receive a warning - don't be excited, unfulfilled expectations hurt. So, how to balance a healthy excitement for the next step on our journey with caution and guarding myself? I don't know the answer, but I do have some ideas...

1. Remember that if no matter what the difference is between my expectations and the reality of life, God will not change - I can expect Him to be faithful and present through all the challenges as well as the joys. Sometimes the unmet expectations and the resulting struggles can actually have a long term positive effect - when things look worst, that's often when I cling the hardest to God. I know that sounds very simplistic and that's not necessarily everyone's experience and it certainly doesn't mean I want struggles and difficulties! It is my experience, though, that looking back at the hardest times, these tend to also be the times I can see God working in me and my life the most clearly.

2. Realistic expectations does not equate with negative expectations. The implication when being cautioned about expectations can often be like the famous quote, "expect the worst, and you will never be disappointed", which may be a nice way to protect yourself, but I don't think an entirely pessimistic outlook on life is the healthiest thing in the world! I do think that if you expect things to be bad, you'll, more often than not, find bad things to confirm your expectations. Similarly, I think that if you expect good things, and look for them, the chances are that you will find some! It's very simplistic and clichéd way to say 'count your blessings', but that doesn't mean it's wrong.

Goodbyes

With less than six weeks left in England, our time is filling up with 'lasts'. Last weekend was the first of many goodbyes, with a visit to the Wycliffe Centre to see our good friends Matt and Liz for the last time. This was probably easier than most goodbyes for two reasons: firstly, they are also Wycliffe members so have similar experiences with regards to forever leaving people behind, and secondly, they are from the same branch so will hopefully eventually be in East Africa too so we will get to see them more frequently than many of our friends!

This stage is one of the hardest in our chosen life - the leaving people behind, knowing that our friendships will never be the same, that we are sacrificing a degree of intimacy in our friendships that you simply can't sustain when living so far away. We'll miss big things like seeing our friends get married - even if we make it back for a wedding, the chances are we won't know, and won't be able to get to know our friends' new spouse, seeing our friends start their families - watching their kids grow up. We'll miss the smaller things too - all the shared experiences, being 'in the area' for coffee simply won't happen, we may not know about the highs and lows of our friends' daily lives. Of course, this cuts both ways - you won't know these things about us either! That's one of the reasons we're starting this blog - to try and keep our friends in the loop with our day to day lives.

With this round of farewells, I'm going to try and see them as an opportunity more than a painful necessity - an opportunity to see our friends, to spend time together and appreciate the time we do have instead of focussing only on the future times we will miss.

39...

Yes indeed. We leave for Tanzania in 39 days! Feeling pretty good about our moving 'to do' lists (yes, that's plural - I'm loving one note for it's spendiferous system of tabs and tags for organising my life). We're gradually moving all the things we won't be taking to Tz/needing in the immediate future into Olly's parents' loft, which they've very generously cleared a corner of for us! We have our flights booked, visas processed and all our vaccinations are done. All that's left is the rest of our p*cking (hate that word) and various organisational bits and pieces to do with leaving our house here (final bills, post redirection, address changes etc...). When I look at it that way, I don't feel too stressed. It's just when I look at all the assignments still to do for college and all the goodbyes to survive that the time really seems so very short!

Welcome!

Greetings and congratulations for finding your way to our new blog. We hope to use this as a tool to keep our friends and supporters updated with our lives as we move to Tanzania in a few weeks. Let us know if there's anything you'd particularly like to see on here and we'll see what we can do... assuming suggestions are within our technological repertoire!